My story: “I just don’t have the motivation”

This is my story. Why am I writing this? Because I hear more and more, both from my acquaintances and friends and in the company of complete strangers, the phrase: “I just don’t have motivation.” This is the main thing that people have felt in recent years. And it is completely understandable. Life has changed so much in recent years and we ourselves as people have changed. Everything that we previously considered normal and an ordinary part of everyday life has become a privilege, and it is no longer clear whether what we have reached today is reality or a movie.

All that “good old” familiarity and security is gone, and every day feels like one big battle. A battle with ourselves, our thoughts, everyday life, and the world around us. Can we cope? How can we cope? What will tomorrow bring? etc. We have lost ourselves. We have fallen into a certain current that we are just swimming with. But we always have a choice – to make decisions that carry us forward or decisions that slow us down.

Years ago, I was a sufferer of anxiety attacks and panic disorders. I looked for help everywhere. I went to all sorts of different doctors, therapists and psychologists and spent an insane amount of time and money on it all. But at that moment, I didn't realize that in reality, I had the opportunity to help myself all along. This seemingly outdated fact that exercise helps alleviate all physical and mental problems was also told to me by all the specialists I turned to at the time.

I have been doing some kind of sport my whole life. As a child because I simply had to, as a teenager because it was the norm, and as an adult because I knew it was good for me. However, during the darkest period of my life, I completely cut exercise out of my life because I simply had no motivation. I really thought I had done everything to help myself, but nothing worked. I no longer understood what I was doing wrong and wrote down all the recommendations that I received from everywhere at that time. Admitting the problem – yes; turning to a psychologist/professional – yes; medication – yes; keeping a diary/blog for yourself – yes; a balanced diet and exercise – ?. I realized that I had completely ignored this most “insignificant” recommendation. I sat at home every day, seeking solace in food and feeling worse and worse about my body every day.

It's actually amazing and a little scary how smart our bodies are. If we feed them junk and tell ourselves every day that we can't do anything, that we're weak, that we look ugly, etc., that's exactly what our reality becomes. I couldn't understand how I couldn't find the energy to do anything when I was sleeping an average of 12 hours a day. I couldn't understand how I couldn't find the motivation to do anything when I had the freedom to work from home and plan my own day.

So one fine day I pulled myself together and went to the gym just so I could check off that last item on my list (and then continue to whine at home about how nothing was working). What happened, however, was that when I got home, for the first time in a long time, I felt that I no longer felt the need to procrastinate and that I actually had the energy. I felt good in a long time. This discovery was a big surprise to me, and I already made my workout plans for the next day. I realized that I was doing this for myself. This is my time, where no one and nothing can disturb me. Not even my usual thoughts, because the focus is on the effort. During those moments during the workout, I didn't think about anything else but this moment. I didn't feel sorry for myself or beat myself up, or tell myself that I couldn't do anything.

I still remember this feeling of realization very clearly, and it is exactly the same feeling that drives me out of the house every day – whether it’s to work out at the gym or just to take a walk outside. My mind is much clearer and fresher, I want to get out of the house again, my body is stronger, all kinds of cravings have decreased a lot, and most importantly – I feel good in my body! So believe me, I completely understand the idea of ​​“I just don’t have the motivation”, but we always have a choice. And only we ourselves are responsible for our choices. I choose myself, my well-being and my health. What will you choose?